3 October 2007
21 September 2007
None of these things apply to me.
I have been thinking about what it would take to rectify the situation. To purchase a dwelling. you kind of need money, which you kind of need to be working a lot to get. I have recently taken part in career assessment workshops, so it may still be a while for that to come about.
With that taken care of, I thought about getting hitched and what it would take to convince me that that is a good thing. The only way I would want to get married is for the First Dance together as a legally bound team to be of my liking. So far, I would consider getting married to dance to these songs:
1) The Marriage by Billy Bragg (lyrics)
2) Wishing the Days Away by Billy Bragg (lyrics)
3) Oh Sherry by Steve Perry, providing I marry someone named Sherry, which I would. (video), but one, or both of us, would HAVE to wear skin tight, high waisted jeans.
or.
i just marry the shoes I have fallen in love with:
9 September 2007
ever get that lazy "things are fantastic" feeling?
i went to an amazing wedding.
i start my tumbling and trampoline class on tuesday.
i have some of the greatest friends ever.
i am making a film, for free.
lovely.
5 September 2007
30 August 2007
broken and brusied
my heart is not healing.
i miss my friend so much and nobody wants to fucking listen to me anymore. so, i utilize this thing to expel it all.
i feel like i let him down, not that i could have prevented him from killing himself, this i know, but i was not there to let him know how much he meant to me, how he was one of my best friends, how he inspired me to become the person i am on the way to becoming, how fantastic and beautiful he was, how i was in platonic love with him from day one, how special he always made me feel. i just fucking miss him.
i am tired and going without sleep and all my energy is put into taking care of a baby.
things are bad, i cannot lie. i need someone to hear me, i have nothing left for being sounding boards for others.
i will not be talking to anyone for a while because i would just tell you to fuck off anyways.
everything seems so trivial right now.
29 August 2007
mind boggling.
every now and again i think up some invention, or fantastic idea. usually, a few months to a year later, the idea/product that i thought of crops up somewhere. i had always just brushed it off as coincidence.
about a year ago, i had a vivid, apocalyptic dream about an imaginary house. the world was ending by means of the ocean crashing against it repetitively. i just happened to be at this odd shaped house, with a handful of my favorite filmmakers, when the storm hit. myself and the other party goers survived due to the structure of the house. i fell in love and saved the world....no, just kidding. i never dream romance themes.
as my dreams are often dramatic and genre oriented, the whole thing seemed unimportant.
but then i was on the Inhabitat site, which i visit everyday. i am trying so hard to describe this without sounding insane, or extremely dramatic, but when i clicked on today's post and scrolled down, it felt like my blood ran dry. one of the structures (see above photos) that is featured as a hurricane resistant house is the exact house from my dream.
I in no way want to take away from the importance and seriousness of the event, or the Inhabitat post, but it really freaked me out.
also.
everyone should check out their site often as it is so fantastic and then we can all be best friends and build sustainable container homes together.
the end.
28 August 2007
baggy eyed and anti-social.
i start work at 8 in the morning, which is insane.
slowly, i am reworking my schedule to fall asleep before 5 in the morning.
my sleep is restless though as i do most of my thinking at 2 or 3 in the morning. so, as a result, i am over thinking in my sleep.
i am working on an experimental film currently and have been participating in a wide range of fantastic workshops on hand processing and optically printing film.
twice now, i have woken up, standing in the middle of my room, with invisible film strips in my hands, hand processing and exposing with invisible chemicals and flashlights.
perhaps i ought to have a worktable beside my bed. maybe my sleep-film-making is brilliant.
till then,
e.
14 August 2007
Internet Down
some things of special notice:
1) the "put your gay face on" spa day went over fantastically. i was amazed at the results and plan to make it a semi-regular occuring event, bringing it with me when i leave this town.
2) speaking of leaving this town, wouldn't you know i have met some new fabulous people. the conversation is always engaging. i was telling a friend about some of them , and one i described as "gets irate about the same stuff i do". i have been trying to convince some of them to move to vancouver. tifilis, you would like them.
3) i have also decided to maybe try to convince Indecisive to move out there as well. it is kinda a fantastic idea, would you say?
4) i found the perfect lake spot on sunday. a gaggle of us rode our bikes out to the lake because it was hilariously hot. how hot? well, piture this, at some point in the 45 minute uphill battle of a bike ride out there, i removed my shorts and biked in my swimming costume - or - underwear. for real. now, if by chance someone who does not know me is reading this, please understand that i am extremelly modest in my manner of dressing and have to struggle to have the top button on my polos undone. if the gap between top of collar and second button is more than 1/4', i attach a snap to correct the situation. so, the thought of me riding around town in my underwear is fantastically hilarious....especially because it was a thong.....no, just kidding. standard over sized black briefs perfect for the under cover ops i usually participate in.
so, my library time is running short, and this post is not.
i apologize for any speling mistakes as spell check is not on this public computer.
till next time,
bring your A game.
28 July 2007
Welcome
and.
Blackle is the new Google, except I cannot customize my homepage with them, so and I do not want to give up my pony.
yesterday was wicked awesome. fixing a dears bike, attending a b.b.q. with some quirks, then off to a Halloween in July party. I dressed as a beach party. Rode home very fast in funny, backless dress, hung out with cats and then chitty chatted on speaker phone, very reminiscent
of party lines i never got around to calling as a teen.
26 July 2007
so tired today.
I haven't slept in days, not a full sleep anyways. Last night there was a disturbance on my street. My next door neighbor had his bag stolen and was shouting very loudly about how he was going to find the bastard and shoot his fucking head off, or something to that effect. He was under my window while shouting this.
I panicked, of course, who wouldn't being woken up to that.
His friends squealed their cars into the lane and their was a commotion as they conversed loudly about some guy with a gray mustache on Maitland who had a bag just like it so they were going to go "take care of him".
This event took up at least an hour between the initial shouting and the cars taking off. There have been three murders within five blocks of me within the past two(ish) weeks. I feel like shit today and I am wondering how the new mother across the street is feeling. I wonder if I should try to have a conversation with her, instead of the occasional nod.
When I moved to this street, I was so excited cause it seemed like such a lovely quiet street. A friend told me she lived on this street and more than once woke up to find blood all over the street. I realized last night that I had been to a party here once before, back in the drinking days. Someone I knew went across the street to a party, now my neighbors house. She was harassed while there. I, being the weirdo that I am, went to defend her/get her ought of trouble. I almost got beaten up.
I have a problem. When I get nervous I get lippy. Really lippy. I am like a tiny dog, except big, so it isn't really funny to the other person. It has almost gotten me shot at least three times, really shot, with guns cocked and what not. It kinda sucks and it needs to stop.
So, why the ramble? I am hoping that I learn from this. I feel like I am going over the edge somehow, feel like getting drunk, you know? But I have to remember the baggage and history the drinking causes me.
Shit, I even have history with the new mother across the street.
whoosh, i feel much better.
trb.
24 July 2007
may i redirect your attention please....
trb.
23 July 2007
flabergasted.
I am now on a mission to find a copy of this film. I did an internet search of the usual haunts here in town without any luck. If you ever see a copy of this movie, pick it up, watch it twice, then send it to me.
the dancing scenes are the best in the world.
trb.
20 July 2007
16 July 2007
Cathy Jones
13 July 2007
i'm going to live FOREVER!!!!!!!
at least according to this study.
a small excerpt:
"The results of this study are very exciting as they show for the first time that moley people, who have a slightly increased risk of melanoma, may, on the other hand, have the benefit of a reduced rate of aging," said lead researcher Dr. Veronique Bataille.
i am the most "moley" person i know.
and don't ask about the lip-stick.
11 July 2007
when it rains
it would appear that all is syncing up for this kid. it is almost eerie how it is all fitting in together.
after a self-induced, short time-out, i have reconnected with some of the best folks in this town.
while kicking around on bertha, getting my errands done, and enjoying the sunshine, i ran into someone i admire quite a bit. we hung out all day and night and made plans for a dinner gathering at my place. the soup was so good, i almost cried.
we ended up in a very intense conversation, which lead to the dearest suggesting i volunteer at The Youth Project. i was kind of wishy-washy about the whole thing, but later decided it would be a good thing.
So, fast forward to today, had a coffee date with a different dearest, enjoying fantastic conversation once again, when the company i was keeping had to skedaddle down to...........The Youth Project?!?! I was invited along for the Artsy Fartsy day to decorate for the float in upcoming parade. It was ridiculously delightful, and i will now be co-facilitating the trans-youth meetings.
so many other things are falling into place as well.
i have been making plans for the camper van plan. i think now is the time as things are going so smoothly. good times.
trb.
6 July 2007
my face
is killing me.
my entire body kind of hurts as i am going through withdrawal all over again.
i broke down and had drags of cigarettes the other night, and now i feel trancy.
i have began to enjoy the phone again as well.
long distance and close up.
gabby gabby gabby.
i want out so badly i feel shaky.
trying to get a photo show in vancouver, know anyone who wants my stuff?
trb.
3 July 2007
ever so badly
know anyone?
trb.
2 July 2007
nickelback
wanna know how i know?
i worked the beer tent at the canada day celebration on citadell hill. i almost cried. i defiantly vomited in my mouth countless times, and my fingers are sore from opening approximately 900 beer cans in a few short (but so, so long) hours.
memorable quotes from the bands:
"there is some french dude talking to me on the radio. man, french is so fucking lame!"
"somebody's smoking some fucking pot. keep it burning dude, i love it!"
"you people in halifax can fucking drink like no others"
"next time, i promise to play naked"
and, my personal favorite,
"show us some love, and maybe if you show us enough, she(woman from crowd on big screen) may show us some love too, hahaha."
when i signed up for the job, i do not think i was thinking clearly.
the only thing that made it alright is the fantastic event i attended afterwards with the destiny's child cover band. sadly, the show was missed, but the party was so much fun. we even formed the gay alliance.
and there is a new radical thingy starting up which i have been invited to join.
now, i have to go wash the stink of nickelback, hedley and stained off of me.
trb.
21 June 2007
Ruthie Take a Shower
or, rather an alcohol steeped hippy.
a friend gave me the remnants of a spray on deodorizer that consists of sage and alcohol. the stuff is like a miracle.
i have decided to wane a touch on the "no products" rule as I drink a lot of coffee, ride a bicycle every where and forget to shower quite frequently. being in an teeny tiny editing suite with various folks at various times, i have decided to be nice and not be so stinky.
now, isn't that nice of me?
16 June 2007
Paydirt.
13 June 2007
Unknown.
I discover a thing called Face Transformer, haveing exhausted the fun in MyHeritage, I decided to give it a whirl.
It wasn't as fun as the celebrity match up that myheritage offered, but the results are humorous in that "squished worm on the bottom of your shoe" kinda way.
the original:
As a baby, with a bow-tie of course:
As an old fella, or maybe it was as an ape, the similarities were astounding:
What was labeled as "West Asian":
And, my personal favorite, as Caucasian:
I love the ghost like ear shapes on all of them. Kinda makes me feel ear deficient.
8 June 2007
Glitter Graphics
today was so amazing.
I went for a three hour trail bike ride with friends, the view was lovely,we ate popsicles by the lake.
I came home and had a coffee float! So fantastic.
Went for a swim, well, a dunk really.
Went to a barbecue, were i was charming and hilarious, as per usual.
Then off to the DARTMOUTH CARNIVAL!!
I love love love the rides so much. Started with the Scrambler. Finished off with the zipper! Crap does that ride seem dangerously creaky.
This whole summertime business in Halifax is wonderful. I forgot how much I love it here during this time.
6 June 2007
We'll laugh at that old bloodshot moon in that burgundy sky
I did not want to get out of bed this morning. My room was so fantastically cold.
Dragged my self up, thanks in part to the cats hiding in various locations and mewing loudly and ear-piercingly.
First thing, I biked down Bayers Road without incident. Every time I travel down this one particular downhill stretch, a van or truck clips me. This time, I took up the entire lane. Worked like a charm.
Had a breakthrough in therapy. Lovely.
Stopped off at the Dollar Store and picked up supplies for my cat food making operation, putting me into Fully-Functional-Mode.
Rode home slowly because it is such a lovely day.
Stopped at the Steve-o-Reno's coffee shack and got a large Cafe Mocha, with soy milk, hold the whipped cream. The coffee so so effing good, I stopped in my tracks and weeped for a brief second.
And it is only one in the afternoon.
Crap do I love this non-smoking business.
I am totally going to go rock it like it's hot.
and prepare for the crushing pain and sorrow over the non-smoking thing that will hit me in the early evening.
so be it.
5 June 2007
I'll shake forever and I'll never care
i feel like breaking my own ribs, just to see if it really hurts.
i almost jumped into traffic to see if the cars would stop.
i jumped up to see if i could reach the rim of a basketball net.
i have had to put my bike away for fear of spacing out and drifting into traffic.
i break into a run sporadically.
i half collapsed because my legs forgot to move.
i took six photos of that fly.
i am half crazy, half paranoid, half asleep and one hell of a mathematician!
i have quit smoking and it hurts.
now go away you dirty bird, and allow me to pace in peace.
30 May 2007
Oh Sherrie
this is a little embarrassing, but when I was about ten or eleven, I had a strange crush on steve perry, from journey fame.
it was his single, oh sherrie, that drew me in. the video was on MTV quite often, and I developed a fascination for him. i am guessing this is what constitutes as a crush...a fascination?
there is something still enjoyable about the song, and when i looked at photos of steve, i was fascinated that i still found him attractive. it kind of explains a lot of things, like my immense attraction to large noses, and why i dated the only true head banger back in grade 5....the only person i dated, actually.
all of this leads me to the wonderful photoshopped work you see above. i call it "a delicious steve perry sandwich!"
enjoy!
29 May 2007
my street is tiny.
double dead end street. it is pretty easy to notice what is going on on the street.
well, it would appear that someone living in the house next door is wanted by johnny law. i know because they came to my door asking me about my neighbor, and if i knew what houses where rentals. i am not going to pretend i know why the fuck the cops want to know which houses are rentals, that is just what the awkward cop asked me. poor kid hadn't the slightest idea what gender role to put me in, kept going back and forth from sir to madman, not that i mind.
the point of all this?
well, it would appear that there are two paddy wagons and one cruiser waiting for my neighbor to arrive home, i am guessing with the intention of bringing him into the station to do whatever it is they do here. the thing is, they are parked right outside the house. in plain view!
do they really think the kid is just going to walk into his front door without any indication that perhaps he may be in some sort of danger?
would he really go home?
it really is some sort of sting operation. amazing.
23 May 2007
18 May 2007
i think maybe my star trek obsession is out of control.
You are Jean-Luc Picard
| A lover of Shakespeare and other fine literature. You have a decisive mind and a firm hand in dealing with others. |
Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test
14 May 2007
my insomnia is back.
Your Score: Outcast Genius
73 % Nerd, 60% Geek, 52% Dork
For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius.
Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).
Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius.
Congratulations!
Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST
Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
11 May 2007
9 May 2007
face punching gone wrong.
5 May 2007
Starting Off
yes i am very awkward.
4 May 2007
2 May 2007
grateful.
23 April 2007
i don't kiss losers and i don't kiss winners.
my head is buzzing with fantastics tales. my fingers have no desire to type them out.
one thing i will tell you, i had a fantastic weekend. i meet some wonderful folks.
i also experienced some folks making "suggestions" for how i ought to conduct my affairs, or rather lack thereof.
i am referring to being happily single for a significant period of time. is it really so bad to like being alone? having a queen size bed to myself? not finding someone else's hair in the sink?
dating someone bossy would suck. i am waiting for someone spectacular to travel my way. i think i deserve it, being such a catch and all.
18 April 2007
Marry Me Jon Stewart.
enjoy: http://www.ifilm.com/video/2845521
12 April 2007
for pete's sake.
8 April 2007
Failure to destroy.
i did manage to put together a crack team of animators though for a collaboration.
7 April 2007
fucking heartbreak.
i lost a very dear friend and it is making me crazy. one second i am doing that scream cry, sobbing uncontrollably, then a split second later, full calmness.
i feel like kicking and screaming and punching and biting.
three days now in a strange sobbing paralysis.
fuck.
there are many folks that i am supposed to get a hold of that are just going to have to wait.
tonite, i drink myself silly.
tomorrow, i puke for hours, hopefully.
i will be fine by next friday.
4 April 2007
my ears are in love.
1) you put the suppository up the old cooley,stand on your head and let it get to work. (cooley is also the nickname of my old housemate)
2) you've seen my downstairs mix-up (after flashing someone).
chances are, these are not as amusing for you folks as they are me, but that is the way the cookie crumbles ya brats.
trb.
2 April 2007
cue the whirring sound...I am back folks. the kid downstairs is back into paying bills, and i am piggy backing once again. no more standing in the library or sneaking off at parties to send poorly written e-mails in a mad dash to stay in touch with all my favorite kids.
life is pretty good these days and i am currently pursuing my life long dream job. working with the post office. this is no joke. i want to be a letter carrier so badly. what better job for me. i could get jacked up on coffee, strap on an over-weight carrying sack and wander all around town avoiding human contact. i do that now for free, it is just as well i join one of the best unions around and make an effing career out of it.
plus, i love the mail. some could say it is a slight obbsession.
so, look for me wandering the streets, looking surly and uniformed and know that my heart is singing.
such fun.
till next time losers,
the recess bandit.
oh yeah, the picture above is a shortbread cookie made for me for my housewarming party by my former housemate.
it was so delicious.
12 March 2007
out of the loop.
in the mean time, have you been to indecisive's place recently? there are some hilariously gross tales there, and her cynicism is still in place. in a world of unreliable internet connections, i can still rely on my kid sister to see the dark at the end of the tunnel. whatever you do, don't wish her a happy new year!
till we meet again....if internet ever returns to my house.
the recess bandit.
21 February 2007
Finally Snapped.
Something strange is going on.
I think I may have finally snapped, or, I am actually such a pure genius I have kept it under wraps from even my self up until now. Recently, I have started muttering to myself, well, I should clarify. I have always been a mutterer, rattling about town, grimacing and chatting to myself. It is just something I have learned to accept and not worry to much about. The problem is not the mutterings, rather the direction they are taking.
It seems as though I have started to solve math problems in my head. I catch myself going through these strange equations to which I haven't the slightest idea where the numbers came from. Seriously. It over took me one day, and I actually stopped dead on the street, trying to calculate as many decimals as possible for 14 into 333. I had arrived at these two numbers through a series of multiplying and dividing, but haven't any idea what, if anything, I was trying to solve.
The ridiculous thing about all of this, I am hopeless at math unless I use a calculator. I am a finger counter. It has always been a slight embarrassment, but I could never calculate in my head. I still can't, when I am fully conscious. But these Math Trances are different. My fingers stay in my pockets, I am solving the equations without their assistance.
I have gone through a ton of theories as to why these strange states are hitting me. My favorite one yet? Somehow I am connected to the Eye of Jupiter and that the fleet is tapping into me to chart their path home, to Earth. Worst case? It is the cylons that tapped in, and I am, in fact, one of the remaining five.
So, who wants to help me with the buckles on my straight jacket?
trb.
17 February 2007
15 February 2007
i will sleep out in the gutter.
so, as a constellation, go here.
till next time.
trb.
good news.
i received a letter yesterday:
Congratulations! Your film THE THINGS MY PARENT TAUGHT ME has been selected for exhibition in the 15th Annual $100 Film Festival to be held March 8-10, 2007.
and.
The festival provides one way shipping of your work. At the completion of the Festival, your film will be shipped back to you, pre-paid, along with a souvenir program, poster and screening fee.
a screening fee?!?!
how exciting is that?
trb.
10 February 2007
9 February 2007
i have been having a morning of pure indulgence. i am still in my pajamas, watching movies, and drinking coffee floats. i am going to be eating nachos with yogurt soon.
the coffee float was so delicious. java blend's fog city blend, with real vanilla bean ice cream. i feel like some sort of celebrity, except for the dingy pajamas.
well, got to get back to lounging.
p.s. if you are in the hali area, this is a warning. apparently this evening is the world's largest pub crawl or some shit. i am not stepping foot outside of my apartment after sunset.
8 February 2007
Five Minutes of Intense.
You have made me stand proud.
With thoughts of you, my swagger increases.
You sold me my first professional mustache.
I think of you and I can enter any room I want, with pride.
I will miss you forever.
I will cherish you forever.
truly,
Andy Rogenous.
7 February 2007
2 February 2007
Giving in to Tempation.
You know the drill, player on random and watch the results roll in.
Enjoy.
Opening Credits:
The Hardest Button to Button - The White Stripes
Waking Up:
Chile Your Waters Run Red Through Soweto - Billy Bragg
First Day At School:
Lesson 02b - Language Learning Sapnish
Falling In Love:
Lonely - Tom Waits
Fight Song:
Bus-A-Bus Interlude - Missy Elliott
Breaking Up:
Her Room - Tiger Lilies
School Ball:
Accept Yourself - The Smiths
Life's OK:
Doot Doot Ploot - Hidden Cameras
Mental Breakdown:
Naomi - Neutral Milk Hotel
Driving
Capturing Moods - Rilo Kiley
Flashback:
I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday - Morrissey
Getting Back Together:
Flight of the Icarus - Iron Maiden
Wedding:
William, it was Really Nothing - The Smiths
Birth of Child:
No Name #4 - Elliott Smith
Final Battle:
Big Black Mariah - Tom Waits
Death Scene:
Is There a Beat Generation - Jack Kerouac
Funeral Song:
Can I Play with Madness - Iron Maiden
End Credits:
Closing Time - Tom Waits
My day kinda sucked enough to not want to tell you people anything, so, take what you can get.
hahahahahahhahahahahaha.
trb.
1 February 2007
The painting is drawing to a close. About time as well. There was a mishap which set me back quite a bit. The paint store mistinted the green I had chosen for my room, so I had to repaint it. I love the colour of it now though.
The living room is quite smashing as well. Imagine you have a can of magic, you open it up and it covers your walls. That is what my living room is now. Pure magic.
Still no phone.
A friend of mine bought a gorgeous road bike of which I will be eternally envious of. When we went to the bike shop, I fell in love with a bicycle. A Jamis Aurora touring bike. A shoddy photo is at the top of this post. It is 1000 dollars, so it will not be parked next to Bertha any time soon.
My studio is well on it's way to being fully functional, and I am looking into funding for another animation. Such fun.
over and out.
31 January 2007
practising hermit.
i am so giddy about my new place i never want to leave it. so, i don't.
well, i do. i went to lunnenberg today. that was fun.
still no phone and i am kinda enjoying that. i may forgo the phone forever. i have a bike, two legs, internet. what do i need a stinking phone for?
so, funny moving story.
i fell out of the back of the u-haul. it was about a four foot drop. i went from a standing position to landing face/head first on rusty fence and frozen ground. the large bin of bedding i was carrying did not touch the ground once. my killer instincts kicked in to protect the tupperware container full of duvets and sheets. i shielded them with my body. how fantastic is that?
also.
i need help with the colour scheme for my kitchen. the budget is non-existent now, but i can be resourceful if need be. if you are interested in putting in your three cents (i like the wage increase) and help me pick a color, drop me a line. or just drop in.
i am too high on paint fumes to continue.
25 January 2007
20 January 2007
Dear Airstream,
I like you very much. Now that you have re-designed the Bambi trailer, I am the happiest kid on the block. It almost makes me want to get a job! No trailer has ever done that for me before. Thank you.
15 January 2007
heaving boxes.
and, i can do four chin-ups in a row, take a 2 minute break and do three more. i am so strong. i would totally date me.
the recess bandit.
p.s. some photos of the new bachelor pad. i am painting the place tomorrow cause it looks like ass currently.
and there is a huge bedroom, and stairs with a banister, and a tiny studio. but the studio is 7.5 feet by 7.5 feet, so i guess it isn't that small, really.