31 July 2006

Frackin' Right.

Which Battlestar Galactica character are you?

You are Lt. Kara Thrace (Starbuck). You like to fight, smoke cigars, and sleep around. Deep inside, though, you're wounded and just looking for someone to love.
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28 July 2006

Grocery Shopping.

Two things of note from my most recent adventure out to the local grocery store.
1) An elderly gentleman advises me regarding how to pick the right broccoli, then proceeds to show me his tattoos and tells me "The Japs do the best ones."
2) The main staple in the "International Foods" section: Uncle Ben's Instant Rice.

Gotta love this town.

the recess bandit.

* i know, i know. not uncle ben's, but this is fitting because it is the second most predominant food.

27 July 2006

Finger Chewing Fun.

I am slipping down again. I cannot leave the house anymore, and I am not answering the door, so please do not knock. The kick in the pants about this fucking illness? There is an herbal supplement that aids me in coping with all of this. I cannot afford to purchase these supplements. I cannot afford to steal these supplements. My drug plan does not cover these supplements. They will cover pharmaceuticals, which only exasperates things for me. So, I sit in my apartment, curtains drawn, doors locked, hoping I make it through this shit again.


*please note: before folks get too concerned, and i appreciate the concern, but if things were dire, i would not be posting, and with lovely pictures no less. So, although the thought is nice, please do not call or knock. thanks. i just need to pace for a few days is all.

26 July 2006

Reading is Sexy?

The time to come clean is here. I have a problem, an addiction of sorts. This addiction is running my life. I wake up in the morning thinking about it, I fall asleep cradling my addiction in my arms. I am hooked on books. Kind of in that life altering, time snatching, ridiculous way. I have done nothing with my days but sit on the back porch reading and drinking coffee. I am going through a novel a day. Sometimes, I will take a break and watch a movie. Or phone a friend to tell them about the current book. It is getting kind of ridiculous.

I knew it was a problem when last evening, on my way to a workshop with the Atlantic Film-makers Cooperative, a packed not one but two books. You know, just in case I get stranded somewhere, like a desert island, for a day or two. The worst part, while we were waiting for the instructor to show, during the time I should have been conversing with the fine film folks in the room, I pull out some reading material. This time it was not a straight up reading novel, but a graphic novel, a comic book. It was an R. Crumb book to boot, which awarded me some very dirty looks. Some would say that R. Crumb's work is sexist and offensive. I have not yet come to this conclusion. He is perverse, yes, but at his own admittance.

Essentially, my reading is getting me into trouble. I am not working on any projects, I am not cleaning my house, I socialize minimally at best, and I am not eating or sleeping much. The biggest problem is that I don't really care. I honestly feel content with this lifestyle. I have slipped in and out of it in the past, basically whenever I get the chance, and have come out of it unscathed. So, life be damned, I am reading my days away.

the reading bandit.

23 July 2006

I didn't realize how drunk i was until this morning. the first give away was the hang over. the second was putting on my glasses and realizing how dirty they were.


827 women in one bar is insane.

18 July 2006

Back in the Saddle.

Hello my lovelies,

It has been awhile hasn't it? Quick update, Gort, the computer, is back on the desk and feeling fine. Gort would like to thank you all for your kind words and support.

So, where oh where have I been? Well, I finally made it to Fredericton. I wanted to go so badly for so long, and after this trip I wonder why. The place is attractive enough, but for a city with so many trees, there isn't really any shade. My fair skin cannot handle such intense sun, but I needed to venture out for coffee. Next time, I bring a coffee maker; I am not going back to cowboy coffee no matter what.

So, first night out, and I am enjoying my self. I got dressed up for the occasion in Mary Jane flats, fitted half pants, and a sleeveless fitted shirt. I look very femme indeed. I am also tipsy and giddy, so pretty much half skipping. Walking down the main street when a car speeds by with a special shout-out for me:


Wow, faggot eh? Wow wow; guess I still got what it takes. During my amazement over the situation, a police cruiser pulls up beside me. I am panicking in my head due to previous encounters with Johnny Law, when I notice the cop looks strikingly like Patricia Arquette. I instantly believe myself to have been dropped into a Lynch film and look around for burning objects.

"Did you call for us?" she inquires
"Well, someone was shouting Faggot" ah, shit. Panic rises again as I realize the implication of the statement.
"Uhm, I mean, uhm, someone shouted at me as I was walking"

She wished me a good evening and went after them.

Such an odd turn of events.

I may need to return to that strange land someday, but for now, I stay here. My surgery has finally been booked, after three years of waiting. I am trying to prepare for the exciting event. For those of you unaware of the surgery I am referring to, have no worries, it is not a life-threatening thing. I am going to be documenting it though, so look for a link in the near future. Or don't, whateves. I don't care.

a faggoty recess bandit.

15 July 2006

Missing you dearly Gort.

Can't talk, computer on ... uhm, uh.... vacation. Too choked up to write........

the recess bandit.

3 July 2006


Thats right, I took up running for sport.

later dollface,
the recess bandit.

p.s. for any of you dorkweeds who do not know who the above kids are, go here.

2 July 2006

Such a Perfect Day.

Gosh golly gee whiz was today ever swell. First off, I slept in until like 1:30 p.m., I never sleep in. It was amazing. So, to celebrate, I prepare my most favorite breakfast: 3 very large, very strong cups of Justus coffee, with honey, and comics. Lots and lots of comics. I kinda lost the rest of the day to comics actually. Which brings me to the above photo. It is a screen-capture from an on-line comic about Dr. McNinja. This shit is hilarious. I was not so impressed at first, but then I got hooked. I read all of the archives. I also pimped up my browser. It is unbelievable how happy this new, tacky look makes me. Then, to top off the day, I ripped out some stinky carpet from the kat's litter room, showered, and watched Kids in the Hall. I wish everyday could be this funny.

the recess bandit.