I recently got a haircut from a friend and as a trade I was to take photos of the new haircut. I did a photo shoot with myself, which is very difficult for me. There were a ton of technical difficulties, as well as me being very uncomfortable during the entire thing.

The thing that gets me though is how I look.


Do I really walk around with this look on my face? I look as if I am emotionaly dead or something.

Emotional States.

I keep telling myself that I will not get emotional and sucked into Battlestar Galactica, but it just keeps happening again and again. I am holding my breath during battles and rescue missions. I am getting misty eyed over the drama and touching speeches. I really, really want to know who the other five are. I am shouting to characters on my screen. It is truly ridiculous.

Things are good. The Jesus Season is almost over. This one was my best one yet.

I also received advice regarding my medical condition to see a chiropractor. Get adjusted. I have been trying to find a chiropractor in this city for a few weeks now. I miss getting snapped and popped.


I got nothing else. Not really.

OOOhhhhhhh, two posts in one day....

I got the results from my blood work today. I was hoping for a vitamin deficiency. I even thought it was a good omen when someone I knew came out of my doctor's office, having just had her B12 shot.

Good news bad/bad news scenario. There is nothing wrong with any of my organs, I am not vitiam deficient, so it is probably all in my head. Which is the bad news. I probably have something firing wrong inside my brain, which means I have to go for MRI's, CTScans, and all that jazz. There are soooo many ways in which that sucks.

But this whining and dining my irrational fears is not what this entry is about.

After leaving the doctor's office, I felt really low. I needed a night to myself. I needed relief.

I needed to get drunk.

Only I don't drink alcohol, so, I needed to get drunk on food.

I went shopping for junk food.

This is where is gets ridiculous. You know what I bought?

Two cans of Organic Carbonated Juice, naturally sweetened, and two grapefruits.

Pathetic.

I tried really hard to buy some crap, but nothing appealed to me.

I was even more depressed at my recent failure, so, I forced myself to go out and buy myself a soda pop.

591 ML of Dr. Pepper.


It is going to be magic.


trb.

Still Delirious.

Dear Norwalk Virus, I totally just kicked your ass.

yes, it has been a fun few days for the bandit. When presented with the overwhelming task of dealing with the virus I did not believe in previously, I suggest eating honey-crisp apples very slowly. By slowly, I mean eating one over the course of a day. It is true. I am an eater, a big eater as many know. Others eat nothing during their Norwalk visit. I eat apples.

Ramble.

I have been slowly losing the use of my extensions. My fingers, my toes, up to my arms and my legs. They just go numb, I have been losing strength in them as well. My vision is turning into a fish eye lens, you know the kind that every skate photo is taken with.

I went to the doctor, because my arms have been turning to mush more aggressively these days, I figured it was a pinched nerve. I told my doctor of the ailments and she told me I would have to wear a cloth neck collar while I slept. I laughed and told her of my Nana, and we both laughed at the hilarity of it all. Something was wrong with my neck. hahahahaha.

"So, I guess that explains the lose of sensation in my feet as well?"

Her smile dropped immediately, she stumbled and stretched her mouth out again. My doctor turned away from me and started arranging things on her desk.

"We can get through this, we can totally deal with this." she never looked at me once.
"We have to get you in to the neurologist. Uhm, okay, go for some blood work and then we will make the appointment. Wait, no, we have to make the appointment right away. This is fine."

My doctor panicked.
My doctor panicked, and then she asked me how old I was, and then she told me it was probably a vitamin deficiency, and that I should not worry.

How am I not supposed to worry?

Have you ever seen your doctor panic over your symptoms? It totally sucks.

Carrot Top scares the crap out of me.

And.


My days have been made by the following bit of news that I am sure at least one of you is going to appreciate. Twitch City is now available on DVD. Yes it is. I already have my copy. So lovely.

bursting bubble.

this make me barf in my mouth.

McCabe and Mrs. Miller is one of my favorite movies in the world. It is one of the few films that can bring me to tears every time I watch it.

There was a small part of me that always thought I could personally thank Robert Altman some day.

busy.

So, from nothing to ton-o-ton of stuff. I have a job. yep. Mother's helper.

And.

I will be directing a short FILM soon. Getting trained to be the best director I can be as well. So effing exciting.

As well, my motther gave me a fantastic digital camera for my birthday. I have been taking so many crappy shots. I took a picture of David, from Six Feet Under, crying. I have also been shooting a few animations. Working the kinks out of some newly learned techniques.

So, I have decided that my cats and I are going to buy a small plot of land out west, and move into this. I think I was drooling while going through the photos and stats. I think I have a problem.

p.s. I just started listening to the Edie Brickell album, Shooting Rubberbands. I am amazed how much I am enjoying it. Oh nostalgia will kick me in the teeth every time.

so lovely linking.

i need to get myself a job. i feel the need to purchase this and this. the others are nice as well, i just really like these two in particular.

oh, and speaking of lovely, and how fantastic i am, wouldn't i just be super charming in this or this?

this is also delicious.

p.s. the below picture is of me and housemate Max during function.

eat your heart out detroit.

This Shit is Toooooo Funny.

So, instead of boring you with my stories, I shall re-direct you to my sister's recent post. My sides hurt from laughing so much. I don't recall ever seeing this picture before.


truly,
boxed in.

YAH!

So, Girl-ish Productions had a pirate themed dance party. I love a dress up dance party! I went as an ARRRRGyle pirate.

The tights are argle print as well.

And:

New Pearls!!!!!!!!

Dear Tifilis, I tried to call you this evening, but you decided not to be home. This is too bad as apparently, I am an excellent phone conversationalist! Oh well. Perhaps I shall try in the next day or two.....is one day better than another?

In other news: the housemates slept soundly as I danced up and down the hallway with fantastic music in my head. My monkey-duck slippers work wonders at keeping the sound of my footsteps to a minimum.

Also, I taught myself to waltz this evening. I am super graceful. You can ask anyone that was in my house this evening as I held multiple demonstrations.

i can lead and follow.

i am such a catch.


till it happens again.

i feel as if i am drowning.

I have stumbled upon a free studio space for me and my animation. Unbelievable. I can build and shoot there, with all access as far as I know. Super happy.


Plus: I am trying to make my way to Vancouver in the next few weeks. Please keep eyes and ears open for oppertunities. Thanks in advance.

6-8 weeks out of surgery......finally. I, rather unfortunatley, miscalculated and may have done some damage.

Things are progressing. I am finally able to move about and get things done.



the zine fair is on saturday. i will be kicking it with the kids.
there will be some video/film being shown.
my musical may be there.

Skipper.

I once had a pony I loved very much.

Good Looking.

Here is some interesting reading. Enjoy.

My shampoo, which I can admit, I only use once a month if that, scored a 1.3. I was quite surprised at this as I thought it would have scored higher. Maybe now I will wash my hair regularly...

sloppy drunk= vicious hangover.


i lived though, which means i am not the messiah. explanation to follow.

happy birthday to me.

my oh my what a handsome kid i am.


quite truly,
the recess bandit.

Robert Sergal.

I would love to have this in paper format. I have recently taken to reading my comics in the beam of light that floods my room often.

Some fantastic folks presented me with Chris Ware's Jimmy Corrigan, The Smartest Kid on Earth during my hospital stay.

I would strongly recommend anything by Chris Ware. Especially if you have the time to lounge, such as I have. The only problem is that it makes me weep. And fall in love. It is messy.


sample of Chris Ware's work here.

disjointed sentences courtesy of lack of self control when being handed alcohol.

courtesy

favorite one yet.

Difference of Opinions.

Amazing how my Sparkling glasses make me look like more of a man than when I am dressed as Andy.

Another photo I uploaded told me I looked like Hugh Grant and Heath Ledger. Pontsey.


truly,
the recess bandit.

Kiss it as I Ride Away.

Due to previously mentioned surgery, I was confined to walking about as my main means of transportation. I have no tolerance for the walk about. Today Bertha and I were reunited. It is semi slow moving, but we managed.

Oh how I missed my bike.

truly,
the recess bandit.

*please note: the above image is not Bertha, merely a representation. The above bicycle , whom I fondly refer to as Henry, shares a living space with Bertha. They are just friends.

My Kat Hates You.

I found out about this Youtube link through DiscoKuutchie. Oh yeah, she will totally appreciate the re-naming. Well, here is the link. It is ridiculously funny.


trb.

This made my morning.

That is all.


truly,
the recess bandit

Big Day Out.

Yesterday was my first day out for a full day. It was way to exciting. Sad but true. I walked downtown and hung out with a new friend at my favorite coffee shop. Being there allowed me to mingle with some folks that I adore. I drank more coffee than I should have. Afterwards, my new friend and I went grocery shopping. I was in such a good mood I wanted to do something nice. Imagine that. My housemate, the one that still lives here, has been extra-special during my recovery time. She recently got hooked on coffee sweetened with honey, a habit I fully endorse, so I got her a huge jar of wildflower honey. If you steal it, does it still count as a generous act?

In other news....the original Unit has been split up. The friend/housemate that I got this apartment with has moved on. Funny thing is, he is here more now that he has moved out! Not that I am complaining! His sweet face will be missed in this house.

Shit is this post ever boring.

This is what happens when one is unable to leave the house for more than an hour at a time.

truly,
the recess bandit.

p.s. does anyone have any advice on how to tell if a friend is, you now, into you?
I had considered plying them with alcohol, but that would be sleazy...... wouldn't it?

Wedding bells are going to clank.

Eugene Mirman checked out my Friendster profile. We are so getting married! Funny smells and all.

truly,
the recess bandit.

p.s. have I mentioned that I can not ride my bike for another month(!!!!!) therefore I may slowly recede into a blathering fool. No bicycle equals no sanity.

Bob Odenkirk Rap

A little back to school special for you kids out there. This makes me laugh so hard, I think I pulled a stitch.

big baby.

i have not done much but scream in pain. fuck does this ever hurt. i ran out of arnica. i ran out of patience. still worth it. worst part about it is that i can hardly read my books that i stock piled. a friend brought me Kafka's Metamorphisis books-on-tape cause i wanted to read it in the hospital. i am baking cakes for all my friends, as soon as i can lift my arms.

later.

the recess bandit.


p.s. i want to go see Little Miss Sunshine this week, any takers? you know where to reach me.

p.p.s. i love charles burns so very much. just so you know.

Before

After

It is amazing. My shirt has no idea where to go anymore. It just kinda hangs off, looking all awkward and shy.

I cannot belive how happy I am.


truly,
the recess bandit.

things to check.

holy crap. i just discovered this website and i shall never sleep again.

We Feel Fine.


later.

Tales from the Hospital.

I am finally back home. Boy-oh-boy did I ever miss it. Due to not being able to lift my arms for so long, I will post photos from the hospital for you to enjoy. Please be warned, one contains contained blood.

Me and the oxygen. I really love the oxygen.

My plastic surgeon is hilarious.

The mesh underwear the nurse had to put on me.

By some fantastic fluke, I scored a private room. This was the view. Inspirational.

This meal came just as I was being released. The night before I ate some vegetable that I can not identify. Unfortunately, this is not a joke.

My blood. Drains coming from my chest. For two days.

I am allergic to tape!

Well, that is all for now. I am tired and need to lay down again. The splint that I still have around my midsection cuts off my breathing. I also have to sleep on my back. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air, limbs flailing like a turtle flipped on it's shell.

My housemate says I look like I am wearing a bullet proof vest.

If I had to do this all again, in order to be small chested, I totally would.
I also have a harder time figuring out why women would go through this for purely cosmetic reasons. This shit is painful.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've gots an Elvira movie to watch.


truly,
the recess bandit.

so many stories, so much codine.



trb.


p.s. thank you to all of you who wished me so well.

so long suckers!!!


the recess bandit.

I go under the knife tomorrow. I probably won't be updating for a few days as I will be in the hospital for at least 2 days. I cannot access the internet from my phone, unlike some people I know, so y'all will just have to get on without me.

till then,
truly,
the recess bandit.

I am pretty sure that if I shrunk to five apples high, my cats would let me outfit them with saddles. That way they could take me on adventures with them. Provided, of course, that I still feed them. Otherwise they would just eat me.

Wedding Bells are going to Chime.

I have decided that if I ever get married, although not likely, I want our "first dance" to be to Billy Bragg's "The Marriage".

Home Sweet Home.

I recently discovered modernist prefab housing and I am hooked.

I like the concept behind Living Homes, pictured above.
But I also want to live in a glass house all of a sudden: The iT House.
In all honesty though, I love love love the spacebox!

more delights at fabprefeb

truly,
domestically,
the recess bandit.

p.s. i am probably going to neglect my duties in the next few days. i am scheduled for surgery in less than a week!!! YAH!!! anyways, i am documenting it in another blog thing. you can read it if you like, it is only about the surgery. i have a small request: please do not comment on that site as the purpose of it is to be a public record for others that may want to know another's experience. i know that on-line journals helped me tremendously leading up to the decisions i have made.

Surprises in the Night.

I was in desperate need of some sleep last evening, so i ate some herbal sleeping tablets. They were working like a charm until one of the kats decided to show off. I was awoken to odd growling by the foot of my bed. In a fog, I switched on the light to discover that one of my kats had caught herself a friend. I can admit it, I screamed like a girl. It is not every day you wake up to a kat with a mouse's ass hanging out of it's mouth. It was quite amazing in hindsight, that she had managed to fit the front end in her mouth so perfectly.
Usually, when one of my beast catches something, be it moth or mouse, they like to leave it for the world to admire. I can deal with the moths, the mice are a different story. Have I mentioned that I have an irrational fear, paranoia actually, about dead mice?
After my scream, Diana Moon ran out of the room with mouse in mouth. I calmed myself down and shut the door. I became very grateful for the shut door, as I believe that the mouse was dropped in the hallway for the unusually cruel kat-n-mouse chase up and down the hall. When the mouse dies, the kats will still bat it back and forth. It is kind of disturbing, as these creatures sleep on my bed every evening.
I was relieved to not find any dead mice loitering in my hallway, although I did get a strange look form my housemate when I groggily muttered "Did you find any dead things this morning?"
I believe that Diana Moon ate the mouse. And it is about time as well. My initial thought was that I would be saving money with the decrease of purchased turkey necks, but I was sadly mistaken. If anything, she ate with more ferocity this morning.

perhaps the mouse is still alive in her belly and she is feeding it.

i am so out of here.

truly,
the recess bandit.

Thanks for the Mammaries.

Dear folks who attended my yard gathering last evening;
I had a lovely time and hope to see each and everyone of you in the near future. Thank you for the presents as well. The girls got a bit weepy over the whole event. During my recovery time, which is supposed to be 3-6 weeks, (!!!!!), I will be hosting movies at my house. Please bring popping corn!
My brain is mush today, so, I offer you this quiz-post to ponder. It says I am awkward...I thought I was hiding it well.

Find your own pose!

chow mein shit stain,
truly,
the recess bandit.

Some fun for You.


The Dana Carvey Show - Skinheads From Maine

It's all in the Genes.

Okay,okay, okay. So, if this guy

(Eugene Mirman)

and this girl

(Amy Sedaris)

had a baby that had this guy

(David Cross)

as a brother and was best friends and neighbors with this girl,

(Janeane Garofalo)

I would totally want to be that baby.

truly,
the recess bandit.

p.s. the portraits of Sedaris and Garofalo were taken by Ali Smith.

Weekly Top Artists.


i just joined last.fm. i really think the world deserves to know all of my intimate details. i really do.

truly,
the recess bandit.

p.s. if you join, we can totally be friends.






ladies and gentlemen...

my future husband:

Stephen Merchant.

that is all.

Hola! I have just discovered something that i love a lot.

Zip and Li'L Bit.

the link will not take you to the first page in the series. but i am sure you can navigate your way around once you are there.
truly,
the recess bandit.

Unknown.

What kind of looter am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

yeah, i know. It is a cheap post. What are you going do, eh?

my day has been filled with ru-uniting with folks from old. I also spend hours grinding turkey necks, not as easy as one would imagine.

a dear friend of mine sent me an e-mail in regards to my previous post. It was thoughtful and well received. It also made me laugh my fool head off. This the quote that did it: Oh 2 things, have a great party, and is this the surgery, the girls get some air let out?

hil-ar-i-ous.

truly,
the recess bandit.

* You can't create a post without a Subject

My surgery date is approaching faster than I could ever imagine. The thought that keeps circling in my head is that a part of me is going to be thrown in the garbage. Actually, thrown in medical-waste trash bins somewhere. So, I have decided to have a going away party.

I am not sure how else to deal with my nervous energy and a party, for an agoraphobic such as myself, seems like the perfect balance between avoidance and torture.

So, if you know me, you are invited to my house next Saturday the twelfth. Even if I haven't seen you for a dog's age. You see, part of my nervousness stems from a strong believe that I will not survive the surgery. It is a very common surgery, and I haven't any real reason to panic, but the numbers are aligning just so. There, now that I have said it, it will defiantly not come true.



call or e-mail me for details.


truly,
the recess bandit.


p.s. if you want to bring boob-cupcakes, I will not protest.

One of these days.

Sometimes, I have these days. Days in which I feel as if my brain is collapsing and my innards are faltering. I get woozy, light head and nauseous. I cannot think straight at all and I get a blinding headache.

The result of these symptoms is my brain launching into automatic panic. I start to think that I am expiring from some tropical disease, even if I have not left the neighborhood. I start to think that maybe there has been some sort of lethal gas leak into my window from strange government-type agents. My mind starts to race, trying to figure out who the last person I pissed off was and who they may be connected. Every pang in my guts makes me think that my killer is more sadistic than I could ever imagine. I start to get into a rage because someone pulled a fast one on me, somehow slipping me poison or something. My mind starts whirling through the previous items that I have ingested to try to pinpoint the exact moment of the heinous act for which I am currently suffering, perhaps dying, from.

Then, with a gasp and a giggle, I realize that I have not only neglected to eat anything all day, I have also somehow neglected coffee as well.

I would not survive in the jungle.

truly,
the recess bandit.