Sometimes, I have these days. Days in which I feel as if my brain is collapsing and my innards are faltering. I get woozy, light head and nauseous. I cannot think straight at all and I get a blinding headache.
The result of these symptoms is my brain launching into automatic panic. I start to think that I am expiring from some tropical disease, even if I have not left the neighborhood. I start to think that maybe there has been some sort of lethal gas leak into my window from strange government-type agents. My mind starts to race, trying to figure out who the last person I pissed off was and who they may be connected. Every pang in my guts makes me think that my killer is more sadistic than I could ever imagine. I start to get into a rage because someone pulled a fast one on me, somehow slipping me poison or something. My mind starts whirling through the previous items that I have ingested to try to pinpoint the exact moment of the heinous act for which I am currently suffering, perhaps dying, from.
Then, with a gasp and a giggle, I realize that I have not only neglected to eat anything all day, I have also somehow neglected coffee as well.
I would not survive in the jungle.
truly,
the recess bandit.
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