28 August 2006

Tales from the Hospital.

I am finally back home. Boy-oh-boy did I ever miss it. Due to not being able to lift my arms for so long, I will post photos from the hospital for you to enjoy. Please be warned, one contains contained blood.


Me and the oxygen. I really love the oxygen.



My plastic surgeon is hilarious.



The mesh underwear the nurse had to put on me.



By some fantastic fluke, I scored a private room. This was the view. Inspirational.



This meal came just as I was being released. The night before I ate some vegetable that I can not identify. Unfortunately, this is not a joke.



My blood. Drains coming from my chest. For two days.



I am allergic to tape!



Well, that is all for now. I am tired and need to lay down again. The splint that I still have around my midsection cuts off my breathing. I also have to sleep on my back. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air, limbs flailing like a turtle flipped on it's shell.

My housemate says I look like I am wearing a bullet proof vest.

If I had to do this all again, in order to be small chested, I totally would.
I also have a harder time figuring out why women would go through this for purely cosmetic reasons. This shit is painful.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've gots an Elvira movie to watch.


truly,
the recess bandit.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you need anything at all I am down the street at all times.
m

Indecisive said...

There's something about the first picture of you that reminds me of Nana. It must be the neck pillow.

recess bandit said...

hahahahaha. yes. I thought the picture look familiar for some reason. I love the new neck pillow. The Ladies Auxillary made it for me. It is all downhill from here. Allthough, I can still dance better than Nana!