Tonite I learned about killer sperm. I will never be the same again.
30 January 2006
Chlorinated Gravy and Jazz Hands.
As you may recall, I decided to attend aquacize class this morning. Going into this thing, I thought it would be easy-breezy. When I was a child I engaged in both competitive and synchronized swimming for several years. So, I believe I have a leg up on the competition. Considering all of the competition is over the age of 63, this is a fair assumption. Good christ can those ladies boogie.
It started out simple enough, I even had the breath to comment on how jazz-tastic my hands were. Yes, I also danced for several years. Then we moved from the warm-up to the workout. The teacher suggested that the four viral attendees (me included) continue without the use of a pool noodle. Forty-five minutes later and the results are what you see below.
Regardless of how grueling it was, I have decided to return. Somehow being told by several of the elderly that my hair was "pretty", and that they liked my tattoo is enough to bring me back.
truly,
the recess bandit.
p.s. again, I would like to acknowledge my amazement at my high grades in maclab.
It started out simple enough, I even had the breath to comment on how jazz-tastic my hands were. Yes, I also danced for several years. Then we moved from the warm-up to the workout. The teacher suggested that the four viral attendees (me included) continue without the use of a pool noodle. Forty-five minutes later and the results are what you see below.
Regardless of how grueling it was, I have decided to return. Somehow being told by several of the elderly that my hair was "pretty", and that they liked my tattoo is enough to bring me back.
truly,
the recess bandit.
p.s. again, I would like to acknowledge my amazement at my high grades in maclab.
29 January 2006
It's official!
This will be me, tomorrow morning. Yes, I have joined up for water aerobics. I mean, really, how bad could it be?
The reason I have decided to get back into shape? So that I will look fabulous for my up coming marriage to David.
He is just so handsome.
truly,
recess cross.
The reason I have decided to get back into shape? So that I will look fabulous for my up coming marriage to David.
He is just so handsome.
truly,
recess cross.
28 January 2006
the recess bandit is a misshapen monster.
I guess I knew going into the situation that it would be disastrous, it always seems to be. But when I friend called and asked me to go to the mall, I could not seem to say no. In my defense, I was running on little to no sleep, and trying very hard to avoid feeling like an adult. One thing television taught me is that a shopping spree with your BFF (bestfriendforever!) is a perfect remedy for whatever ails you. So, to the mall I went.
I conveniently forgot that I hate malls, I hate shopping for the dreaded pants, I hate malls. Not just for the rampant consumerism, but for the lights and the air and the windowlessness and the stares. Oh the stares. And nothing will destroy my confidence more than trying to find reasonable clothes that fit at a mall. Any mall, they are all pretty much the same.
O.k., so what is my problem you ask? Nothing in the mall fits me. I mean, pretty much nothing. Nobody seems to make slacks at a size above a very slim 11. Are we just not supposed to wear bottoms? Resolve to wear the pleated, polyester dealys from Sears? Good gracious, I am not ready for that yet. So, the lack of slacks is never really any surprise, but I really needed to add an extra bit of aggravation. I decided to buy myself a new bra.
Dear sweet jesus, was that ever painful. First off, they are ridiculously overpriced. Forty dollars is the cheapest I have ever been able to go. For something that is pretty much under my shirt at all times. And usually as ugly as my kat's puke. So all this, and then they add insult to injury. There seems to be a slight shift in the sizing since my last purchase. Nothing fit. And by that, I mean I can no longer fit into a 34DD. Double fucking D. I am not that big. I cannot buy a bra anywhere but Sears now, you know the ones your Grandma used to wear? So attractive.
The best part about this excursion was an interaction I had with the sales associate at the underwear/bra store. I was picking out some new underwear when she offered me some help. I said "Sure, I want five pairs please."
She responded with "What size, small?"
I just laughed.
"No, size large please".
"Really, are you sure? I know it is hard to tell with all of the winter clothing, but your face makes me think that you are rather skinny."
My face makes me look skinny. My new glasses must be slimming.
So, essentially, my bum and chest are way to large to fit into any normal size clothing, but the face? So slender.
My new fishing for a compliment line...."excuse me, do you think this face makes me look fat?"
truly,
the recess bandit.
I conveniently forgot that I hate malls, I hate shopping for the dreaded pants, I hate malls. Not just for the rampant consumerism, but for the lights and the air and the windowlessness and the stares. Oh the stares. And nothing will destroy my confidence more than trying to find reasonable clothes that fit at a mall. Any mall, they are all pretty much the same.
O.k., so what is my problem you ask? Nothing in the mall fits me. I mean, pretty much nothing. Nobody seems to make slacks at a size above a very slim 11. Are we just not supposed to wear bottoms? Resolve to wear the pleated, polyester dealys from Sears? Good gracious, I am not ready for that yet. So, the lack of slacks is never really any surprise, but I really needed to add an extra bit of aggravation. I decided to buy myself a new bra.
Dear sweet jesus, was that ever painful. First off, they are ridiculously overpriced. Forty dollars is the cheapest I have ever been able to go. For something that is pretty much under my shirt at all times. And usually as ugly as my kat's puke. So all this, and then they add insult to injury. There seems to be a slight shift in the sizing since my last purchase. Nothing fit. And by that, I mean I can no longer fit into a 34DD. Double fucking D. I am not that big. I cannot buy a bra anywhere but Sears now, you know the ones your Grandma used to wear? So attractive.
The best part about this excursion was an interaction I had with the sales associate at the underwear/bra store. I was picking out some new underwear when she offered me some help. I said "Sure, I want five pairs please."
She responded with "What size, small?"
I just laughed.
"No, size large please".
"Really, are you sure? I know it is hard to tell with all of the winter clothing, but your face makes me think that you are rather skinny."
My face makes me look skinny. My new glasses must be slimming.
So, essentially, my bum and chest are way to large to fit into any normal size clothing, but the face? So slender.
My new fishing for a compliment line...."excuse me, do you think this face makes me look fat?"
truly,
the recess bandit.
27 January 2006
hey, don't forget about this:
CFAT Scholarship details!
Message: DATE: Friday January 27th 2006
TIME: 8pm
Place:Neptune's Studio Theatre
1593 Argyle Street
Tix: $6 in advance $8 at the door
ticket info: 420-4002 (CFAT)
if anyone wants me to pick up tickets in advance for them let me know. i am stopping by the centre around 4.
truly,
the recess bandit.
Message: DATE: Friday January 27th 2006
TIME: 8pm
Place:Neptune's Studio Theatre
1593 Argyle Street
Tix: $6 in advance $8 at the door
ticket info: 420-4002 (CFAT)
if anyone wants me to pick up tickets in advance for them let me know. i am stopping by the centre around 4.
truly,
the recess bandit.
26 January 2006
o.k., i know. this blog is started to seem completely self-absorbed. i got off track with the recent discovery of childhood photo albums and my gorgeous scanner. also, i have been busy. i am trying to get back into script writting as i have decided to stay in school and graduate. i would be crazy not to. so, in the interest of trying to get school work done, i will be posting more photos/videos. if you don't like it, you can just leave. i had no idea you were there in the first place. there have only been comments from 4 people, but stats tell me there are more.
the photo attached to this post is of my grandfather. i idolized my grandfather. his life story reads like a steinbeck novel. this photo is from his and my nana's (see previous post) honeymoon. it was taken at Niagara falls in 1945.
truly,
a nostalgic recess bandit.
25 January 2006
24 January 2006
click.
i recently went home for a visit. this is me and zoe in the back, puppy and family in front. i was catching heck for being so gosh darned lippy. i stopped filming before it got uncomfortable.
the video seems to take a long time to load. sorry.
truly,
the recessbandit.
22 January 2006
17 January 2006
so, at the beginning of the evening, i was ready to pack it all in and move to the desert. my computer could suck eggs as far as i was concerned. i'm still not over it completely, but i do now see where my errors were.
sometimes the concept of a computer makes my brain fizzle. like my profile says, i am new. so, why all the goddamned fuss? why was i screaming, turning away in anger, and needing to get out of the house? i was, once again, trying to upload video. i found an old clay animation that i did to test out the camera and the materials used for a larger project. i re-edited it, after having my workhorse of a computer tell me 'no' several times.
the frustration lies in the fact that this is what i study in school. this computer stuff is supposed to be second nature now. i got an 89% in mac lab. but, as i may have mentioned before, right now i hate school. o.k., o.k., i am getting to it. geeez. so, here is some crappy video i did a couple of years ago.
i borrowed the music from Mark Mothersbaugh of devo fame. enjoy.
>>>>>>>>>click here to view.
so, i guess i should go do my homework.
truly,
the recess bandit.
and yes, i do know the credits are as long as the movie.
sometimes the concept of a computer makes my brain fizzle. like my profile says, i am new. so, why all the goddamned fuss? why was i screaming, turning away in anger, and needing to get out of the house? i was, once again, trying to upload video. i found an old clay animation that i did to test out the camera and the materials used for a larger project. i re-edited it, after having my workhorse of a computer tell me 'no' several times.
the frustration lies in the fact that this is what i study in school. this computer stuff is supposed to be second nature now. i got an 89% in mac lab. but, as i may have mentioned before, right now i hate school. o.k., o.k., i am getting to it. geeez. so, here is some crappy video i did a couple of years ago.
i borrowed the music from Mark Mothersbaugh of devo fame. enjoy.
>>>>>>>>>click here to view.
so, i guess i should go do my homework.
truly,
the recess bandit.
and yes, i do know the credits are as long as the movie.
16 January 2006
i am really getting bored of being ill. it has been 41 hours now. i have not been able to eat, or do anything else really, for 41 hours. my body is getting sore from laying down. food poisoning is for losers.
something else: the center for art tapes scholarship screening is coming up.
CFAT Scholarship details!
Message: DATE: Friday January 27th 2006
TIME: 8pm
Place:Neptune's Studio Theatre
1593 Argyle Street
Tix: $6 in advance $8 at the door
ticket info: 420-4002 (CFAT)
i received this scholarship last year. it is a good program.
also: afcoop has a one-minute film scholarship. this program is amazing.
well, that is all. i am leaving the province in a couple of days. i am only going away for a week, but i am sure it will feel like a lifetime. going to visit my parents seems to have that effect. here is to my safe return.
truly,
the recess bandit.
something else: the center for art tapes scholarship screening is coming up.
CFAT Scholarship details!
Message: DATE: Friday January 27th 2006
TIME: 8pm
Place:Neptune's Studio Theatre
1593 Argyle Street
Tix: $6 in advance $8 at the door
ticket info: 420-4002 (CFAT)
i received this scholarship last year. it is a good program.
also: afcoop has a one-minute film scholarship. this program is amazing.
well, that is all. i am leaving the province in a couple of days. i am only going away for a week, but i am sure it will feel like a lifetime. going to visit my parents seems to have that effect. here is to my safe return.
truly,
the recess bandit.
14 January 2006
this is fantastic.
this is even better.
i, for one, feel as if a have a much better understanding of myself.
quite truly,
the recess bandit.
| Your Personality Is |
You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours. |
this is even better.
| You are Bettie Page |
 Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it |
i, for one, feel as if a have a much better understanding of myself.
quite truly,
the recess bandit.
13 January 2006
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