I can admit that I am an emotion person. It is something that I have come to terms with, sort of. I can even admit to having bouts of sadness, okay, depression, every now and again. The usual bouts only last a few day, and nobody can tell because I don't stop laughing during the whole thing. Yes, my cackle. If you have been in the same room as me, you know what I am talking abut. But things are getting ridiculous these days. I don't really have much to complain about, my life is going well. I am back into school, friends are in from out of town, I'm on spring break, which means I will be constantly flashing and yelling. Such a lovely boy-o-boy, goodness gracious, such fun.

I should be gleeful. Overwhelmed with good cheer. The thing that is really going on? The world seems so sad to me right now. I look around and everyone's face makes me want to cry. Things that I found hysterical before are just lonely and depressing now. It is weird, it is creepy, it is not a bowl of cherries. I think somewhere along the way, through one of life's many obstacles, my heart got snagged and tore. SEE! Do you see what I mean! Bullshit like that is coming out of my mouth/fingers. It is disturbing. I do not want to be this sad and morbid. I find it boring, I want to punch myself in the eye, I want to push my own face in a puddle. I want out.

I was daydreaming the other day that I would get kicked out of school. I had planned to just disappear. The fantasy became so intense that I even started packing my bag and finding a home for my kats. I can tell spring is coming because I have no desire to be standing still anymore.


truly,
the recess bandit.